Thursday, May 29, 2014

The Blue of My Birthday

Once on my birthday I felt unhappy and sad. It was my sixteenth birthday. I wished that I would have a birthday party and got so many presents from my family and my friends. When I started to prepare many things for my birthday, my lovely dog got sick. Barney suffered from his illness in 3 days, but Barney could not be helped. Barney died exactly on my birthday. Barney’s death was the sadness present on my birthday.
My birthday was 3 days to go, but something strange happened to my dog. Barney started to sleep all day long. Barney did not eat its food, even though my mom already gave his favorite food. Barney did not want to play with me anymore. He did not come when I called his name. Barney looked so different.
We gave so much attention to Barney because he got sick. This kind of illness maybe the usual one. We gave a ring to veterinarian. The veterinarian said that he had to inject some medicine to Barney’s body. I hold Barney’s body so tight. I hugged his body because I did not want Barney felt the pain of the injection. Finally, Barney had two injections to its body. Since the veterinarian’s visitation, I always put an eye on Barney.
In the third day, Barney was getting worst. Barney threw his food up from his stomach. Barney’s eyes were yellow. His face was so pale. His nose was dried and it was not a good sign. Barney seldom opened his eyes. Barney started to breath slowly. A shocking thing happened when I came back from school. I found Barney already became a corp. I called my mom loudly and then I cried. I was so sad.
When I had to lose my lovely dog forever, it was the sadness moment in my life. Knowing that Barney was sick already made me worried and unhappy. I realized it when Barney became strange and acted differently. I started to give so much attention to Barney more than usual. I was really panic when Barney was getting worst and suddenly died. In short, wherever I go, I will not find a cute dog like Barney anymore.


2 comments:

  1. Very touching story yanti,
    your writing is good in term of grammar and structure but in sentence,
    "I found Barney already became a corp" don't you think it would be better if use 'I found Barney stop breathing' just for respect the dead one but this is a good story :)

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  2. your writing is very good yanti.
    i just want to add something. may be you can add a clearly opening in paragraph 2. i little bit confused when i read it. while you said that barley was dead but suddenly you flashback the story before its dead, and i think the opening didn't clear yet. may be you can add some word and it can helps the reader know that you started to flashback the story.
    this is a good story yanti :)

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