Outline (revised)

Banyuasri Market in The Evening

Topic Sentence                        : There are a lot of activities in Banyuasri, especially selling and buying activities.

Major supporting idea           : Banyuasri market is very crowded in the evening

Minor supporting idea           : - There are so many buyer, seller an also beggar.

 -  The seller’s stands put in lines.

-         The first line is flowers and offering sellers.

-         The second line is vegetable sellers

-         The third line is cake, cookies and meals sellers

-         The fourth line is meat and fish sellers

-         The fifth line is fruit sellers.

-         The sixth line is clothes and sandals, CD player, cassette sellers.

Major supporting idea           : There are a lot of activities in Banyuasri Market, so that the market becomes noise.

Minor supporting idea           : - if you pass the seller, you will hear the sellers offer their goods.

-         Some of the people there are doing bargain activities.

-         Music from the CD player and cassette sellers are also contribute so much noise.

-         And also the vehicle’s sound makes the market situation noisier.

Major supporting idea              : Because the sellers sell many kind of goods it makes the market has various kind of smells.

Minor supporting idea           : -     If you pass the flower and the offering seller, you will smell fragrances.

-         If you pass the meat and fish seller, you will smell a stingy and putrid.

-         Every smells will mix become ones.

Major supporting idea             : Bad impact of the irresponsible people in the market makes the surrounding market’s area is muddy.

Minor supporting idea           : It will make you feel a little bit uncomfortable.

Major supporting idea           : There are some activities that the buyers usually do before buying something in the Banyuasri Market.

Minor supporting idea           : - You can go around the market to choose the best and the cheap one.

-         You can do a bargain before deciding to buy it.

-         Doing bargain and get the cheapest price is the exciting activities in the market.

-         After you get a deal price with the seller, you can pay it depend on the deal price.

Concluding sentence              : In short, people can sell, buy and bargain things from the Banyuasri Market. Even though, the dirty and the stingy smells will make you uncomfortable, but doing shopping in this market is very exciting.

Outline

Banyuasri Market In The Evening

Major supporting idea           : Banyuasri market is near Banyuasri Bus Station.

Minor supporting idea           : Banyuasri market located between the Bus Station and the morning market.

Topic Sentence                        : There are a lot of activities in Banyuasri, especially selling and buying activities.

Major supporting idea           : Banyuasri market is very crowded in the evening

Minor supporting idea           : There are so many buyer, seller an also beggar.

Major supporting idea           : Banyuasri market is an organized market.

Minor supporting idea           : - the seller’s stands put in lines.

-         The first line is flowers and offering sellers.

-         The second line is vegetable sellers

-         The third line is cake, cookies and meals sellers

-         The fourth line is meat and fish sellers

-         The fifth line is fruit sellers.

-         The sixth line is clothes and sandals, CD player, cassette sellers.

Major supporting idea           : When we are in Banyuasri market, we will hear so much noise there.

Minor supporting idea           : - if you pass the seller, you will hear the sellers offer their goods.

-         Some of the people there are doing bargain activities.

-         Music from the CD player and cassette sellers are also contribute so much noise.

-         And also the vehicle’s sound makes the market situation noisier.

Major supporting idea           : Besides the noisy situation, you will smell some kind of things.

Minor supporting idea           :

-     If you pass the flower and the offering seller, you will smell any fragrances.

-         If you pass the meat and fish seller, you will smell a stingy and putrid.

-         Every smells will mix become ones.

Major supporting idea           : In other hand, some of the market’s floors are muddy.

Minor supporting idea           : It will make you feel a little bit uncomfortable.

Major supporting idea           : There are a lot of activities that you can do in the banyuasri market.

Minor supporting idea           : - before you make a decision, you can go around the market to choose the best and the cheap one.

-         You can do a bargain before deciding to buy it.

-         After you get a deal price with the seller, you can pay it depend on the deal price.

Doing bargain and get the cheapest price is the exciting activities in the market.

Free Hugs Campaign

( Final of Free Hugs )

This man walked in the middle of the street, hold a “free hugs” sign and offer something like what’s already written in his banner. He was wearing a trouser and a coat.  For a man, his hair is too long. He also has a thick mustache and beard. It’s makes people didn't want to get closer to him. People there only looked at him, sometimes they smile and took his picture. At first, I think the man with the sign in his hand was so frustrated and little bit hopeless. People were passing by, but this man never stop to try, whenever no one respect to him.

When he was being careless, an old woman approached him and asked about what he did. The man explained it to her. He spontaneously kneeling and offering a hug with his stretched out arms. The old woman immediately greeted with a hug. The grandmother successfully attracts the attention of other people to this man. And then, so many people want to cuddle with this man, even a guy with a serious face did the same.

Everybody stopped for a while to see this campaign. Because of that, the street became a little bit crowded. Then, the policeman came and banned this campaign directly. Because the policeman thought that the campaign disturbed another pedestrian at that place. The man explained it patiently to the policeman. He explained what the purpose of this campaign is for human being. He never gave up and continued his campaign with different way. He offered a hug to everybody and asked that participants to give their signature as the petition of this campaign. People became more respect to this man and helped this man with their pleasure. Unbelievable, he got 10,000 signatures from the participants.

At the end of the video, everybody looked very happy. They embraced to each other, include the policeman. The policeman can’t do anything after seeing the result of the petition. Now, this campaign already supported by 10,000 participants and it’s not such kind of criminalization.

I think, the main point of this campaign is how we respect each other and love our environment. Although it looks very simple, actually hugs have many benefits, both for health or relationship between human beings. Just because a hug, people became more respect to each other. Caring is the first step of creating peace and happiness. So, we have to reduce our individual attitude to produce more smiles in this world.

The Outline of Free Hugs

The Outline of Free Hugs from Angga Andriani’s Writing

(Free hug…. Care, love, peace.)

As what a man does, he brings a banner written “free hug” in one of public area. This man wants to catch public attention to do what appear on that banner.

1. Major supporting idea         : He want the people around to hug him freely, and also it hapipen so to all of the people around that place.

            (hapipens maybe it’s suppose to be happens)

    Minor supporting idea         :

-          At first, there wasn’t anyone would pay attention with what the man do. (maybe you should change “do” into “did”)

-          But he doesn’t give up for his mission.

2. Major supporting idea         : Then, someone was looking at him, and saw what the man brings.

    Minor supporting idea         :

-          After that, she hug the man with sincerity. (maybe it’s should be “hugs”, because you have “she” before it.)

-          This moment was continue from one to the other. (maybe you can omit the to be “was”, to make this sentence more brief)

-          Until so many people hugging people’s around sincerity with a real happiness.

3. Major supporting idea         : After all people followed the campaign, bad thing was happened.

    Minor supporting idea         :

-          This campaign banned by the police.

-          I don’t see clearly what they mean by forbid this campaign.

4. Major supporting idea         : Then all of the people make a sign. (it’s better for you to have a comma (,) after word “then”.)

    Minor supporting idea         :

-          He wants to take 10.000 signatures.

-          He got only 83 signatures until it increasing and the target completed.

-          Through the signature as a proof, a proof of peace, togetherness they struggle until police cancelled to ban it.

5. Major supporting idea         : At the end of the story people are look so happy after the do this campaign. (maybe, you can put this statement in the last paragraph. Or maybe you can change the time order signal in the beginning of this sentence)

Minor supporting idea         : Free Hug is a good campaign for those people who never care each other.  (actually, I didn’t find any relation between this sentence to the first sentence.)

6. Major supporting idea         : This story is really inspiring us.

    Minor supporting ide          :

-          It’s make us realized that we must remember that we can live alone.

-          We must see the other who needs us, but we never know about it and we still busy with our own business, how selfish we are.

7. Major supporting idea         : This is suitable with the song which faced the reality.

    Minor supporting idea         :

-          As what the firs lyric said “I don’t mine where you come from, as long as you come to me…black or white wrong or right when I close my eyes its all the same in my life the compromise  But when I close my eyes its all the same”. 

-          It lyric is really touched.

-          Make us realized that we are born in this world as human to live in togetherness and remember we all the same.

8. Major supporting idea         : Finally, I want to share my feeling and also main point of what I watched.

    Minor supporting idea         :

-          Here, we can learn that live isn’t about how strength we are with our power, business or wealth that we have.

-          But it’s about how we take care and want to see around.

-          How selfish we are because we never remember for someone who need our hug, our love.

From now on, let we see around. Let’s realized if a hug is very bring a big meaning. It bring us into happiness, respect each other, and the last bring us into peaceful of life of course

Comments

Grammar         : Your grammars are quite good. But, you have to consider to put a suffix –s in some of your word. I found you that you miss it in some of your sentences.

Vocabulary      : You need to be very careful and check your work again before post it in your blog. You miss some alphabet of the right spelling of those words. It would deliver a different meaning when the readers read your article. You have to put your attention more in Microsoft Word’s system of checking spelling. You can count on it when you write something and forget about some spelling of those words.

Mechanic         : Your paragraph’s structure is good. You use some expression or common word in time signals. But, I found just a mistake in your paragraph. It’s about “at the end”, but you put “finally” also in the following paragraph. I think, both of them supposed to be placed in the last or concluding paragraph. And, one thing that is really simple, but have a big meaning is about the pull stop (.) and comma (,). You are forget to put a full stop (.) after that sentence, but you continue the following sentence with a capital alphabet in the first word.

Angga’s Writing

Free hug…. Care, love, peace

This is taken from a real story. Sometimes we should remember that we born in this world are as a human. Of course, we need society because we are people, who nee another’s care for us. But in fact, what we see on the video is a real human careless that develop nowadays.  As what a man does, he brings a banner written “free hug” in one of public area. This man wants to catch public attention to do what appear on that banner. He want the people around to hug him freely, and also it hapipen so to all of the people around that place. At first, there wasn’t anyone would pay attention with what the man do. But he doesn’t give up for his mission. Then, someone was looking at him, and saw what the man brings. After that, she hug the man with sincerity. This moment was continue from one to the other. Until so many people hugging people’s around sincerity with a real happiness.

After all people followed the campaign, bad thing was happened. This campaign banned by the police. I don’t see clearly what they mean by forbid this campaign. Then all of the people make a sign. He wants to take 10.000 signatures. He got only 83 signatures until it increasing and the target completed. Through the signature as a proof, a proof of peace, togetherness they struggle until police cancelled to ban it.

At the end of the story people are look so happy after the do this campaign. Free Hug is a good campaign for those people who never care each other. This story is really inspiring us. It’s make us realized that we must remember that we can live alone. We must see the other who needs us, but we never know about it and we still busy with our own business, how selfish we are. This is suitable with the song which faced the reality. As what the firs lyric said “I don’t mine where you come from, as long as you come to me…black or white wrong or right when I close my eyes its all the same in my life the compromise  But when I close my eyes its all the same”. It lyric is really touched. Make us realized that we are born in this world as human to live in togetherness and remember we all the same.

Finally, I want to share my feeling and also main point of what I watched. Here, we can learn that live isn’t about how strength we are with our power, business or wealth that we have. But it’s about how we take care and want to see around. How selfish we are because we never remember for someone who need our hug, our love. From now on, let we see around. Let’s realized if a hug is very bring a big meaning. It bring us into happiness, respect each other, and the last bring us into peaceful of life of course

Cafeteria at SMAN 8 Denpasar

The cafeteria at SMAN 8 Denpasar is very clean and comfortable. The cafeteria located in the middle part of the school, in front of the parking areas of this school. The cafeteria width is about 360,25 m². The cafeteria has hundreds table and chair around. The table’s shape is long square, but some of them are circle with an umbrella above. Every table covered by a plastic paper, to make it easier to clean. The cafeteria also completes with some of trash bin and wash table in every corner. At the end of the table line is the stand of food seller. The stands are putting in a line in the back side of the cafeteria. There are 13 stands in the cafeteria. Every stands have their own wash table. It sells many kinds of food, such as; snacks, fried rice, fried noodle, mix vegetable, soup, meat ball, chicken noodle and fruits. The cafeteria also sells many kinds of beverage, such as; mineral water, tea, milk, soft drink, juice and isotonic water. Almost all of the beverage served in a bottle, but some of them served with a glass.

The cafeteria will be very crowded in the break time. All of the table will be full. The student comes for buy some food or drink. They will eat their food in the cafeteria, but some of them will bring their food to the classroom. Not only the student comes and buys food or drink at the cafeteria, but the teachers also. They can eat while browse something in the internet by connecting their gadget to the Wi-Fi line in the cafeteria. The cafeteria at SMAN 8 Denpasar is the best place for spend our break time.

Free Hugs Campaign

This man holds a “free hugs” sign and walked in the middle of the street. He was wearing a trouser and a coat.  For a man, his hair is too long. He also has a thick mustache and beard. It’s makes people didn't want to get closer to him. People there only looked at him, sometimes they smile and took his picture. At first, I think the man with the sign in his hand was so frustrated and little bit hopeless. We can see it from the black and white screen at the beginning. People were passing by, but this man never stop to try, whenever no one respect to him.

When he was being careless, an old woman approached him and asked about what he did. The man spontaneously kneeling and offering a hug with his stretched out arms. The old woman immediately greeted with a hug. The grandmother successfully attracts the attention of other people to this man. And then, so many people want to cuddle with this man, even a guy with a serious face did the same.

Because of this man, the street became a little bit crowded. Because, everybody stopped for a while to see this campaign. Then, the policeman came and banned this campaign directly. Because the policeman thought that the campaign disturbed another pedestrian at that place. The man explained it patiently to the policeman. He never gave up and continued his campaign with different way. He offered a hug to everybody and asked that participants to give their signature as the petition of this campaign. People became more respect to this man and helped this man with their pleasure. Unbelievable, he got 10,000 signatures from the participants.

At the end of the video, everybody looked very happy. They embraced to each other, include the policeman. The policeman can’t do anything, because this campaign already supported by 10,000 people and it’s not such kind of criminalization.

I think, the main point of this video is how we respect each other and love our environment. Although it looks very simple, actually hugs have many benefits, both for health or relationship between human beings. Just because a hug, people in the video became more respect to each other. Caring is the first step of creating peace and happiness. So, we have to reduce our individual attitude to produce more smiles in this world.

Video's link : http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vr3x_RRJdd4&noredirect=1

My Best Friend

My best friend’s name is Sang Ayu Kompyang Arisetyawati. A word ‘Sang’ in her name comes from her family name. Her name can show that she is a Balinese. Her nick name is Osin. Osin comes from Bangli, one of regency in Bali. She lives in Singaraja since 1 year ago. She rent a boarding house on Pulau Bali street number 12.  Now, she is a student of English Education Department in Undiksha. She is studying in English Education Department because she wants to be an English teacher. She plans to be a good and professional teacher in the future. Osin isn’t really interest in sport, she prefers to sit down and read a novel than swimming or jogging. On weekends, she goes to her hometown by motorcycle. She already schedule everything in her life, it seems that she will reach what she wants in the future.